I Know the Plans I Have For You
I feel I should warn you. This is a long one. Most blog entries won’t be, but if you have the time to read this to the end, it just might change the way you look at life, especially grief.
Can I take you on a journey? I promise, no mace is needed. Jesus will join us. He’ll take your hand and lead the way He has mine.
When driving down the road toward joy, have you ever run into this sign?
ROAD CLOSED AHEAD.
Instantly your heart quickens as you internalize the wrinkle in your plan. This isn’t what I expected. I don’t want to be here, I want to be there.
Again?
Why is another road closed, God?
Where do I go next?
Your heart races as you realize there’s no sign directing your path. No one has taught you where to go. Panic sets in. But in the midst of the fear, a gentle whisper crosses your ear.
“Do not be afraid. I am with you.”
Confused you search for the source. I swear I was in this car by myself. You look around frantically, already irritated in your confused state.
But there, seated in the passenger seat, you see him—Jesus.
He smiles warmly and places a hand on yours as they tremble at the wheel.
Despite heading toward the sign at an alarming pace, still confused and angry that your plan has been derailed.
Jesus doesn’t shout, he only whispers. “Slow down, child. Turn here.”
“Where?” Panic rushes into your voice. Frantically you search the terrain but notice no road on which to turn.
“My child. Peace be with you. I will lead you. Follow me.”
His tanned hand points to a small dirt road, its rough exterior appears uninviting. Trees have overgrown their boundaries barely visible. Potholes cover the road like landmines.
This can’t be the way. Your brain is screaming. We can’t go that way. That isn’t where I want to go, I want to go THIS way. You point forward to the road you now, the safe, reliable road you’ve traveled for years.
You want to keep going, maybe the road really won’t be closed. Maybe if you just close your eyes and open them again all the pain will be gone and your plans for the future, the plan that still includes your loved one, your marriage, your dreams, it’ll all just be on the other side of that sign.
But the smallest whisper quiets even your loudest cry.
“I know the plans I have for you. Trust me.”
Jesus’s voice is gentle and soft. Reassuring even the darkest place.
“I know this road looks rough, and it will be. At times it will feel impassable. It won’t be anything like that smooth, easier road you want to be on. But I know the plans I have for you and I promise I will be here with you.”
Grief has a way of closing a road to the future we expected.
Losing someone we love, a marriage, a dream, or any expectation we had for the future, slams a big road-closed sign right in our face, forcing us to slam the brakes on the life we imagined. We feel lost, disoriented, and unsure of what any part of life looks like anymore.
I understand this on the deepest level. From the moment I can remember, my mom was my best friend, my compass. We spent every moment together dreaming about the day when we could travel the world. A day when I would be old enough to afford to take us on these journeys our modest income couldn’t afford.
In 2010, five years after my mom was diagnosed with ALS, my mom took her last breath in my childhood home. I was twenty-nine years old.
Her death through up a road closed sign on a future I had dreamed of for years. I was forced to turn off onto a road that looked far less appealing than the one of my dreams.
And like you, at first, even though I knew Jesus was there, I couldn’t always feel Him. All I could feel was the whiplash and pain caused by this rough, nearly impassable road I was thrust onto.
But here’s the thing about Jesus. Even in my most difficult moments, when I couldn’t see Him or feel Him, he was there. I know He was there because in hindsight, coming from the end of the hardest part of the road, looking back, I see that He was there in the friends who supported me, in the songs that uplifted my hearts, and in the words He placed on my heart that I couldn’t even understand at the time.
And He will be there for you, just as He promises.
When you can’t see His hand, feel His heart. Hear His words.
“Do not be afraid, I am with you.” Genesis 26:24
“Peace be with you.” Luke 24:36
“I know the plans I have for you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
“Everything works for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28
My friends, it doesn’t feel like it now, but God has a plan, a purpose for your pain. A plan so much bigger, bolder, and brighter than you can imagine. There will be joy in your future once again. And you will get there one step at a time.
You can read more about my story of pain to purpose in my debut novel “This Changes Everything: When Death No Longer Has the Final Say.” It’s available for pre-order wherever books are sold. This story, based on true events, is a story of hope for those grieving the loss of someone they love.
Could you use more JOY in your INBOX? Look no further. The LIVE JOY Letters are like sitting with your BFF over coffee or tea and sharing stories that serve up more of what you do need: FAITH, HOPE, and JOY.
